Sunday, February 21, 2016

An Open Letter to the One Who Hurt Me Most







               Dear You,

               You know who you are. You’re the one who told me you loved me. You’re the one who told me we were soulmates, meant to be, future husband and wife. You told me one day I’d be your Mrs.; little did I know that was all a lie. Little did I know that you would be the one who would hurt me most.

               What did you do, exactly? Let me tell you. You made me fall in love with you. That is the first thing you did. Before you, I hadn’t been in love in over a year. I finally had my walls built up, actively not letting anyone in. When I met you, that all changed. I let those walls come crumbling down almost instantly. When I met you, I thought you would be the one to prove to me not all guys are the same. You did. You proved to me not all guys are the same by proving to me that some guys can be worse than others.

               How did you do that? You made me trust you. You made me believe I was the only one. For so many months, I thought I was the only one you wanted. I thought I was the only one you called beautiful, the only one you FaceTimed every night, the only one you called baby or said “I love you” to. I trusted you, and I was so very wrong to do so.

               Why was I so wrong to trust you? Because of what you did to me. What you did to other girls. You lied to all of us. I wasn’t the only one. You had so many. For six months, there were so many other girls. With every social media app you possibly could have, you talk to other girls. Facebook, Instagram, and my favorite, Snapchat. Snapchat, the app for cheaters. You called me crazy and creepy for looking at the little score on your Snapchat to see how many other girls you sent Snaps to. The same ones you’d send to me. You called me crazy and creepy for looking to see when you were last on Facebook because I knew you were ignoring me. I wasn’t crazy or creepy. I just knew who you were. I knew the kind of person you were. You were a liar. A cheater. My worst fear.

               You were my greatest dream turned into my worst nightmare. I should have known from the start, when I first heard about you because of your girlfriend cheating on you. I knew who she was, but I had no idea who you were. You were just some kid that lived in a little town in Michigan only 30 minutes away from LaPorte. Your girlfriend at the time was a girl I had known since seventh grade, and I had hated her almost all of the years I’d known her. I heard she was cheating on you, so I looked you up. I saw your pictures and posts about her and thought, “Wow, she doesn’t deserve him. He seems like a great guy.” How wrong I was. I should’ve left it at that. I never should have added you or talked to you. I knew nothing good ever came from her or the people she dated. But I couldn’t help myself. Something pulled me towards you.

               I felt something pull me to you, and I wish I hadn’t listened to that feeling. I let you destroy me for six months. You lied to me, you played me, you cheated on me, you even got back together with her and lied to me about it. You tried getting me back while you were dating her. You cheated on her with me and I had no idea you were even dating her. You told me you loved me. But you don’t do that to the person you claim to love.

               I tried to move on with someone else. I started to. I really liked the person I was talking to. The only things that kept me from completely moving on were that I knew I was still in love with you (you were trying so hard to prove you had changed), and the fact that I knew in the long run it wouldn’t work out with the person I was talking to. So what did I do? I believed you. I gave you the chance. I broke that person’s heart for you. I took you back. Because I made the mistake of having faith that people can change.

               People can’t change. You can’t change a person. A person can only change if they truly want to. You didn’t want to. You may have put up a good front, but I knew underneath you didn’t want to change. You didn’t change. We got back together, and for a little while you treated me better than you ever had. You flaunted me to the world. We didn’t fight as much. You made me feel loved and wanted for once in my life. Like I was the only one for you. But then things got bad again.

               When I say things got bad, I mean we started fighting more and more. You stopped doing the things you did when we first got back together. You stopped making me feel loved and wanted. I began to think there was someone else yet again. I thought you were going back to your old ways. You hated that I didn’t trust you. You would get so angry with me when I asked about another girl or went on your phone or acted suspicious of anything. I couldn’t calmly ask you a simple question about anything without you freaking out at me. That put up so many red flags for me. Every fight made me more worried. And then I saw the texts between you and that girl. That was when my trust shattered again. Completely.

               I had caught you yet again, but you still denied any wrong doing. So I let it go as much as I could. But I was still worried. I was so suspicious of the two of you. And then we broke up. When we broke up, only four days later you began talking to her. You hung out on Valentine’s Day. You kissed her Lord knows how many times. You hung out at your house and cuddled and did things with her around your family the way we had. You treated me like I never meant anything to you. You basically left me for her. Which made me believe you had been with her while we were still together. That hurt me more than words can ever describe.

               You told me on Friday that the two of you are no longer talking, but I have finally let you go. Two weeks of being without you, trying to get you back while you were talking to someone else, it made me realize I’m worth more than that. For the last two weeks, you hurt me more than you did in the entire nine months I’ve known you. I was never good enough for you. Now that I know you also physically cheated on me with a girl from your school when we were back together, I have let you go. I have learned that the way you treated me and made me feel for the last nine months is not a way I want to be treated by the person I love. It is not how I want to spend my life. I do not deserve that, I deserve someone who’s loyal and will do his best to always make me feel like his queen. You neglected to do that. You just didn’t care. So I’m letting you go.

               I’m letting you go, and I know you probably don’t care. You probably already are talking to someone new. I wouldn’t put it past you. I know I never meant anything special to you. So I am letting you go. I know my worth, I know what I deserve, and it is much better than what I’ve been through in the last nine months. It may be hard to find better because for so long I thought there was no better than you, but now I know that there must be somewhere. So I will find it one day, and when that day comes I know you will realize that you gave up the greatest thing that will ever happen to you. You will not find a girl who loved you more than I did, or who would do anything for you like I would. But I wish you luck in trying. You will need it. I’m letting you go now.  Thank you for all the wonderful memories, and thank you for teaching me so many things.



               With love forever, The Girl Who Will Find Better

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